


color me surprised

by insoobnia



Series: MAGIC: OT5 magical realism love story [2]
Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Canon compliant but not exactly, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Magical Realism, Miscommunication, Oblivious Choi Soobin, Slow Burn, Swearing, Underage Drinking, but not literally, he’s just the sweetest person to walk the earth, hints of OT5, kai angel agenda, lots of longing, tyunning going on questionable adventures for the sake of love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:59:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24991918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insoobnia/pseuds/insoobnia
Summary: Soobin has this... ability of some sort. He calls it aura-impression or sometimes just color-reading, but it’s a little bit more complicated than that. That's why he knew at first sight that Huening Kai was his soulmate, but couldn't know for sure if the younger's feelings were on the same wavelength as his own.Kai, on the other hand, undergoes the pain of falling in love for someone who can't see what's right in front of him, not even when it's 183cm of pure and unadulterated longing.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Huening Kai
Series: MAGIC: OT5 magical realism love story [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1809172
Comments: 20
Kudos: 80





	1. Drunk on you

> _It doesn't feel like I just met you_
> 
> _It's like I know you, better hold my feelings back_
> 
> _Because I just met you and I don't wanna get ahead of myself, no_

The first time Soobin saw Huening Kai he knew right away, just like that, that the cute boy with the cartoonish shirt and striking features would become someone pivotal in his life. That’s not to say he fell in love at first sight or something equally as dramatic as that, it’s just that he knew that he was going to be someone irreplaceable in his life. 

Soobin has this... ability of some sort. He calls it aura-impression or sometimes just color-reading, but it’s a little more complicated than that. It has happened before, this colorful explosion followed by a tingling in the head that leaves him dizzy, but it had never been this strong or fast with anyone else, ever. It happened a little bit after he met Yeonjun, Taehyun, and then with Beomgyu too. But Huening Kai was special, the feeling was more intense, but also so much simpler. So he didn’t think twice before embracing the younger in his arms at first met, absolutely drunk on the feeling of having met his soulmate. He was just _too cute_ to resist.

Reality crashed hard on him, though, when the younger just stared at him all confused and smiled awkwardly at him, like he didn’t understand why this stranger was being so affectionate with him all of sudden, which is fair. Soobin understands now that it probably was a little too much to have this older guy suddenly coddling you and gazing at you with adoration in his eyes when they’ve never actually met before. At that moment, young and eager to make his dreams come true, and maybe, being a little bit too much of a hopeless romantic, his heart broke for the first time. One look told him more than words could ever express, and the younger clearly didn’t recognize anything in him the way he did with Huening Kai. It was unsettling in a way, especially when he could see a hint of fear in Kai’s eyes every time he approached him the next following weeks after joining Big Hit. But for all of his lackings, Soobin is not someone who easily gives up. So he didn’t. 

And befriending Huening Kai was one of the best decisions he’s ever made. He stands by that.

It was his sister’s fault, Soobin tries to reassure himself some nights when he gets too melancholic. She shouldn’t have told him all of those silly stories about soulmates as a kid, because he grew up with unrealistic expectations. He’s always been a firm believer of platonic soulmates, but for some reason (deep inside his heart), he was hoping for something a little different. And despite his experience being so similar to the one his sister had, he shouldn’t have assumed it would be the same for them.

He was 15 when his sister found her soulmate (a romantic soulmate, he should say), not that she ever called him that, but Soobin knew. He can read people, it was obvious in the way his sister’s mind would usually vibrate with this blue and electric energy around the crown of her head, and then suddenly one day, it became mellow and soothing with a hint of green. Like a peaceful rainy day, this person brought her some sort of peace and comfort that Soobin always wished for himself. So when his own yellowish-grey energy met Kai’s bright red and became a pretty orange, his own mind turned into a sunset so beautiful it still makes him sentimental to this day; he chased after him. 

It took time and effort, especially on his part, but it was worth it. Being an introverted guy surrounded by highly energetic and competitive guys made him feel so tired all the time, but he couldn’t let himself show any weakness when everyone else was showing so much progress and so much faster than him too. Reflecting back upon those times, he realizes he was too hard on himself, but still, he wouldn’t change a thing about it. Without the hard trials and multiple sleepless nights, he would not have become the leader of Tomorrow by Together. It helped him build the type of confidence that cannot be faked. He also wouldn’t have met his newfound chosen family or become the person he is today, with the hints of colors that each one of his members has left on him; so he’s glad. 

He’s grateful that, among those hard times, he also pushed hard to get Huening Kai’s attention, who once he decided to trust him little by little, became like a healing balm to all of his hurt. 

* * *

“Can I ask something inappropriate?” Kai asks him one of those late nights where they stay in the studio past midnight, his serious expression only betrayed by the youthfulness of his face. The rest of the trainees are spread around the packed room in multiple uncomfortable sleeping positions, silently drinking water, talking among small groups, or contemplating their life choices. He can relate to that, still. Somehow, the night still gives them a sense of privacy, so he’s comfortable with listening to whatever Huening Kai is going to drop on him at that time.

“What? Are you going ask about dropping formalities?” He asks him in a teasing way, but he’s actually worried about where this is going. It might not be a joke after all, and Soobin’s been raised to be respectful of titles like that (maybe even to the point of being a little _overpolite_ and calling his younger peers by the wrong honorific. Embarrassing). The point is that he wouldn’t like it if Huening Kai started calling him by name only. The only exception to this would be a change in their relationship status, but he doesn’t like thinking about that too much, or more like, he doesn’t let himself dive into that line of thought at all. It’s been over two years since they met, but it still leaves a tingling sensation on his head remembering their first meeting (and then the subtle rejection). He should have let it go a long time ago, especially when the friendship they’ve built has become something really precious to him, but sometimes he still catches himself thinking things like _Huening Kai is really beautiful_ in a way that’s too serious, too risky for their current path and dreams in life. 

“No!” He exclaims almost too quickly, shaking his arms in front of his face, and it makes him laugh at how histrionic the other is, “It’s kind of… more indecorous than that”.

The word choice takes him by surprise like it usually does when Kai uses elaborated words out of nowhere, despite his supposedly limited Korean vocabulary. Not that he ever believed that the younger wasn’t as good in the language as any other regular guy, but it’s still shocking somehow. Does he actually know what the word means?

Soobin waits patiently for him to continue despite his confusion, forgetting altogether about the evaluation they should be getting back to practice for. 

“I was just wondering. You know how I’m one of the youngest guys here, and everyone else has more... experience?” Huening Kai looks at the ceiling while he speaks instead of looking at him; like he’s waiting for the roof to give him the answer to his problems. 

The truth is, Kai is indeed the youngest, but for Soobin it doesn’t really change much, he’s met people twice his age with half the wisdom Taehyun seems to exude on a daily basis, so age seems like an inaccurate concept to use to compare yourself with others. At least when it comes to his experience as a trainee. 

“I wouldn’t necessarily say that the guys here are more experienced than you, though?” Soobin replies, puzzled, “You’ve been singing since you were a kid, and you even know how to play piano and the guitar, you took to dancing fast too and I really don’t think…”

“That’s not what I meant!” He interrupts him, then realizes what he did, and brings his hands together as if asking for forgiveness. The cute gesture makes Soobin smile, but he tries to hide it by pursing his lips. “Sorry. I just… I meant like, in life experiences… out of being a trainee, like relationships and parties, stuff like that”.

Soobin looks at him even more perplexed, not having seen this one coming at all. Huening still seems so innocent in almost every possible way, and even if he’s friendly and easy-going, he’s extremely focused on training and a little bit too shy with strangers, so to picture him in one of those parties his classmates used to throw around in high school is just so weird for Soobin. But who is he to judge, really? Maybe this is more about… relationships. Is he interested in dating? Interested in someone in particular? That would be really inconvenient right now, but somehow he doesn’t think that’s exactly it. Where is he going with this? His mind rushes to make up the train of thought of the younger and it leaves him with stupid and nonsensical options like _what if he asks me to be his first kiss?_

His heart skips a beat.

“I want to try drinking… alcoholic beverages, I mean. Just out of curiosity! I don’t think I’m going to like it much” He admits shily, not realizing the absolute chaos he generated in Soobin’s mind just a few moments ago because, _of course_ , that’s what he meant. Stupid Soobin, stupid idealistic and foolishly in love Soobin. The blood rushes to his face so fast, and he could almost convince himself he’s getting dizzy because of how hard the choreography was, but they haven’t been dancing for a while now and even the sweat has started to dry out. He knows his face is red in embarrassment and his heart feels a little bit like it’s been stabbed thanks to the false hope he gave himself for a moment. But he gets over it quickly, pushing the thoughts to the back of his mind.

Huening Kai probably confused his embarrassment with anger, because he rushes to continue, “Don’t be mad, hyung! I know it’s dumb, I just felt like it would be good… if it was with you? I trust you, I know you would take care of me and wouldn’t let me go overboard if I do end up liking it. But you don’t have to, it was just a thought, I promise! I know I’m burdening you with this since I’m still underage and all, but Yeonjun-hyung said you’ve already tried it and… sorry”

“Don’t apologize” Soobin frowns seeing the dejected expression on the younger’s face, it’s not all that frequent to have Huening Kai asking him something this seriously, “I get what is like to be curious… the first time I drank with my older brother it was in secret, he let me drink because he said it went well with fried chicken. I haven’t drink that much after that, though”.

At that, the younger lightens up, a small smile taking place on his lips once again. “Really? How old were you?”

“Your age, I think?” He admits and then frowns, realizing his mistake a second too late. 

“So… you will, then? Take care of me?” Huening Kai beats his lashes at him, looking way too adorable to deny him anything in this world, and Soobin is a weak, weak guy. Or at least he was during that time because he agrees to buy him his first drink a couple of nights after the debut team becomes official.

What happens next is history, mostly. A secret between the two that’s been reminisced by the two of them many many times. Even if it’s just one of their many happy memories together, it’s also the start of some changes in their relationship.

  
  



	2. Dangerous

> _Dangerous, heaven sent me down an angel_
> 
> _Hey, keep it real, tell the truth_
> 
> _Did heaven pull you down, just so I could be with you?_

Of course, things didn't go as planned that night, no matter how many times he’s denied it (even to this day). It was rare for them to be alone together after practice, but after celebrating as a team everyone had too much on their heads, too many places to be, and too many people who wanted to congratulate them and meet them in person _before_ hanging out together would become an oddity. 

Despite Soobin’s efforts to be the most responsible hyung one could be, he’s a lightweight. Honestly, he didn’t think it would take so little for him to feel fuzzy all over. Not that Huening Kai had an amazing resistance for a first-timer, either. At least they didn’t go too overboard, it’s just that Soobin might have overestimated how much he could drink before he started losing eye-to-limb coordination and getting into fights with his own feet. It was, once again… embarrassing, to say the least. 

But neither of them cared all that much at that moment, he remembers fondly just how much fun they had running around and trying to come up with words that rhymed with soju. Spoiler alert: Hueningie cheated by using words that didn’t even exist, arguing that they were chinese, that sly brat. 

The thing is, Huening Kai is already a pretty funny guy on a regular day, but drunk? he was _hilarious_. His impressions of animals and people were just 120% funnier, it was like his vocal cords could actually manage an even larger range and his gestures were even more accurate while mimicking the other trainees when he was drunk. Or maybe it was because Soobin was drunk too. 

It definitely was because Soobin was drunk too.

Soobin reminisces how his usual yellowness that tends to get jittery every time Kai’s hand does as little as to graze against his own, was all blurry and floaty, happy. 

As they made their way to that spot near Han river that they like so much, they talked about anything and everything, thinking about the day they might not be able to walk those streets as freely as they did around that time. It was a bittersweet thought looking back at it, and especially now that it somehow rings true.

Neither of them was certain they would debut anytime soon, and just because the team was officially formed it didn’t mean that they would automatically become a success either, the pressure was never as harsh as it was during the weeks previous to their debut. The possibility of being a failure was always on Soobin’s mind, of not being able to live up to the expectations that being a Big Hit trainee came with, so he was practicing without proper rest. Seven figures casting a shadow as big as the light that could push them forward. Maybe that was the reason they thought drinking would be a good idea, to loosen up a bit.

“Dance with me!” Huening had said all of sudden, interrupting his dark thoughts by shaking a bottle of soju poorly covered with a paper bag in front of his face. He remembers that moment so clearly, sometimes he just has to close his eyes and it feels like he’s teleporting back to that night.

“Dance? Here?” He had asked, amused. He remembers looking around to see how many people would witness the disaster that the two of them “dancing” would be, just in case. But they were alone, save for a few cars passing by.

“Of course here, hyung! Where else?” Huening had scrunched his nose up so cutely, obviously not understanding Soobin’s apprehension to make a fool out of himself. He had already struggled with his coordination on a normal day as a boy who was growing into his body, but back then… back then it was just a whole other story because he struggled with his height, long limbs, AND he was drunk.

As if to prove a point, the universe had decided to ridicule him by making him trip on some ice cream wrapper that was laying around on the sidewalk. Kai had looked so worried despite how funny the fall should’ve been in retrospect. Soobin was just laying with his face on the ground as if he had decided to take a nap on the pavement all of sudden.

“Hyung, are you ok?” He had fretted, helping him get up quickly and looking at him with so much concern in his eyes that it made him reevaluate if he had really hurt himself badly or something because he was sure Huening Kai had to be an angel. He couldn’t feel any pain, even if he had scratched himself pretty badly, so he had thought that maybe his assumption wasn’t that far away from the truth. The alcohol making him numb enough not to notice how there was just a tiny bit of blood running down his cheek and he was not, as he had dramatically thought, dead.

“Yes, yes… totally fine” _save for my dignity_ he repents nowadays. 

“Don’t lie to me!” Huening had whined, “tell me where it hurts so I can kiss it better”. And weren’t those words the death of him. 

Soobin was too out of it to think before speaking, no filter whatsoever, so he had simply said “Here” while pointing at his lips. 

That was the moment Huening Kai should’ve laughed and kicked him for being weird, but instead, he had leaned closer and closer, just to press his lips against his and pull apart a second later, looking completely satisfied with himself. It was so fleeting but it felt like a punch to the gut, his mind spinning with so much unwarranted want. Want to kiss him properly, to hold his hand tightly, to take him on dates and shower him with love and praise, to spend every night talking about their struggles and the things they loved like they already did, to be the one person Huening Kai would want to pour all of his cheery smiles and tears and _red_ over.

But then, the moment passed, like it never happened at all. Soobin can’t for the life of him remember what happened afterward. The only thing he knows is that he was pecked by the guy he had been crushing on one second, and dancing like a lunatic the next. 

* * *

  
  


“Do you remember when you asked me to kiss you?” Kai asks this question like it’s nothing, as he tends to do once in a while. Although not when the rest of the members are around, for obvious reasons.

At this point, it has lost the impact it used to have. The first time Huening Kai had brought up that night Soobin had fallen on his back and squeaked in surprise, his face as white as a ghost. He was so sure up until that point that the younger had been too drunk to remember, but of course, life wouldn’t be that kind to him. Even if it did spare him of the guilt Soobin would have been sure to feel if he had been the only one to remember what had transpired between the two of them. 

Instead, life had decided that the other would remember with an alarming clearness his bold move and the _what-couldn’t-even-be-considered-a-kiss_ kiss. 

At first, it was heart racing hearing him recall that hazy memory, but the more and more Kai mentioned it to blackmail him into doing something for him (usually buying him snacks, helping him with his homework and the occasional prank), the clearer it became that the memory held different importance for each of them. For Soobin it was the moment that solidified his feelings for the younger, but for Huening Kai? it probably was just something to tease him about despite him being the one that kissed him in the first place.

It was kind of unfair, but it is what it is, so he continues to keep a straight face (or tries to as much as he can) when he brings up the subject.

“Why are you ignoring me?” Huening asks him, shaking his shoulder lightly before he burst out laughing when Soobin just continues to ignore him. His chuckles echo in the room he shares with Beomgyu and it can probably be heard from outside the bedroom too.

“I thought it was a trick question” Soobin frowns and tries to continue on with his game, but that’s honestly impossible when Huening Kai is in this kind of mood. The teasing one. 

“Who knows, maybe you’ve already forgotten about the time when you channeled your inner Yeonjun-hyung” Huening Kai says as he looks over his shoulder at the screen in a curious manner since Soobin has stopped moving his character the minute the younger had leaned closer. 

“I don’t have an inner Yeonjun-hyung, that’s just you” He scoffs, but his dimples are already becoming apparent in his effort to stop himself from smiling. 

“So you say, but you’ve been acting more and more shameless the more time you spend with him” He answers him in a tone he can’t quite decipher. 

“Hueningie”, Soobin says softly, “Is everything ok?”. He turns around as Huening Kai backs away, trying to figure out what’s going on in that mind of his. Normally he would have already asked him for a favor after dropping that troublesome question, but the other looks deep in thought, and somehow closed off.

“Hm”, He hums, “Can I spend the night here?” he asks cautiously after a moment.

“Sure, if you want” It’s easy to say yes, they’ve never shied away from physical forms of affection and cuddling is just something that comes easy for the two of them. Even so, there’s something weird about the way Huening Kai is asking. Typically he would go for a cute approach to ask for cuddles, and now he seems… tentative. “Why?” He dares ask, despite not having any certainty that Kai is going to open up to him this readily.

“Beomgyu-hyung and Taehyunie are having a talk” He murmurs, unable to look at him in the eye. Weird.

“Ok, are they gonna take long? You could still sleep there, or is it serious?” His mind is suddenly concerned with what the conversation his friends are having could entail, as far as he knows they’re not fighting. Taehyunie was acting strangely today though, now that he thinks back. Maybe they did had a fight and he was just too distracted to notice.

“No, no” Huening Kai quickly denies, “But I want to give them space”. 

He’s lying, or not being entirely truthful, he can tell by the way he’s picking on the skin around his nails and how his red color is spiking irregularly from his head like it usually does when he is nervous. There’s also the fact that he’s yet to look directly at him while talking. But, it’s Huening Kai, so if he wants to share what’s going on, he will on his own time. He can be patient.

“Sure, that’s a good idea” Soobin smiles at him, turning off his computer screen, the game completely forgotten by now. “Do you want to sleep right away?” Kai just shrugs.

Soobin is already wearing the shirt and sweatpants he usually wears to sleep, and it seems like Huening Kai has also changed already, so it’s only a matter of getting comfortable with whatever plushie the younger has brought with him this time. He looks at his bed for a brief second. Molangie it is, then.

The younger makes himself home underneath his bedsheets and leaves room for him, looking at him expectantly. He doesn’t make him wait too much, now that he’s stopped staring at a screen for after what was probably more than a few hours, he’s become aware of how tired he actually is.

“Soobin-hyung” he murmurs once he’s turned off the light and joined him in bed, “Do you ever think about dating?” 

Soobin stops moving all of sudden as if struck by lightning. That was a really charged question, the yellow in him is becoming more and more prominent in his anxiousness. He knows more or less what a question like this could signify. 

“Not really” He admits, albeit a little reluctant to be having this conversation, “I don’t think I’ve ever liked someone enough to date them” _until you_ he conveniently leaves out.

“Oh” Without seeing him, he knows Huening is frowning. “So, if someone were to ask you on a date...” he rushes to say, “hypothetically speaking, of course…, you wouldn’t give them a chance?”

They’ve talked about stuff like this before, but never about themselves. It’s always in relation to someone else, a high school friend who’s recently broken up with his girlfriend, or about their parents and how they met, sometimes even about other idols and the unfair standards that they have to live up to; so it takes him by surprise. Soobin’s never really considered seriously dating someone, not even Huening Kai if he’s being honest with himself.

“I guess… not? I don’t know, Ning” He tries to come up with something on the spot, but it’s hard when he’s never even let himself think too deeply about this topic before, scared that if he lets his imagination run wild he might never be able to look at his friend without hurting again. 

“Even if we ignore what we do for a living or how little time there would be for something like that, isn’t it… a little unlikely? who would want to date me, in the first place?” It somehow ends up sounding a little self-deprecating but that was not Soobin’s intention at all, he’s being a realist here.

Huening Kai whispers something he can’t quite catch, so he asks him to repeat himself. 

“It’s nothing, hyung, don’t worry” 

“Doesn’t sound like nothing to me, tell me. I promise I won’t judge”

“I just… I would like that, at some point, I think.”

“... you mean dating?”

“I guess. But, not anyone, though. I want someone who likes me for me, all of me. Is that too naive?”

“No, not at all. You shouldn’t settle for anything less” _you only deserve the best._

They don’t keep talking about it after that, thankfully moving along to safer topics like their excitement for the comeback, about the new speaker at the studio (apparently one of their sunbaenims had broken the previous one), and how they need to check the fridge before the fruits spoil again. He wakes up alone in bed the next day, but with an orange light enveloping him like a comforting hug.

  
  
  
  



	3. Please love me

> _Dear, from now on, please_
> 
> _Love me a bit more, look at me more_
> 
> _Embrace me one more time_
> 
> _If you call me like that_
> 
> _I will sing of love_

If you’ve just met Huening Kai you would never think that he’s the type to shy away from others, people just revolve around him without him having to do anything in particular to get their attention, and he’s always been happy to reciprocate as it's in his nature to be warm and welcoming. But that _is_ exactly what makes him so wary of other people getting too close, because for as long as he can remember, there’s always been this _thing_ about himself that made it scary to get physically close with people. Sometimes it’s harder to understand if someone likes or dislikes him for him or because of his… quirk.

When he was around 7 years old, his younger sister convinced him that there were witches walking among people, and that one of them might have cursed him by mistake as a baby. He didn’t really get how that could come to happen, but secretly, he thinks that it’s the only logical explanation that anyone’s ever come up with for his situation. Not that he goes around openly sharing this part of himself with everyone. Kai’s only ever talked about it in depth with his sisters and Taehyun, actually. 

He was really hoping Taehyun would have the answers he has been always looking for, and to be honest, he did help a lot, but he’s still unclear about what exactly it _is_ that he does.

If he were asked to explain it, the best he could come up with is _“if I touch people, I can influence them or make them like me” ._ Like a siren, maybe? 

Most of the time it just means people get a really good impression of him when giving handshakes, or that his family members feel considerably better after getting a hug from him. But, sometimes, it means that someone that actually dislikes him falls under the impression that Huening Kai is a really lovely person only to be reminded of their real feelings with double the intensity once the spell is broken.

Taehyun said that around the time they first met, he did feel compelled to be around him in an unusual way whenever they touched (or so he thinks), but it never lasted for more than a few moments or was all that intense for him not to be able to differentiate between what his actual view of Huening Kai was and what his charming self was. Maybe that was what made it so easy to trust him in the first place, he never had to hold back on being touchy ( _even if he did_ ) with him and his quirk ( _and yes, he’s going to keep calling it that until he finds a better word for it_ ) never affected his friend that much, if at all. Honestly, he believes it’s a miracle he became a part of Tomorrow by Together, a group in which all of his members seem to be pretty much immune to his quirk. After going through some really difficult times during his trainee days, he’s come to trust and let himself be touched by his members without thought nowadays. 

Despite the reassurances of Taehyun, it still is a source of stress for him once in a while, and no one can blame him after the bad experiences he’s had in the past. In terms of probabilities, his touch having a big effect on other people is extremely low, but when it does, it really leaves a mark for everyone involved.

He still remembers clearly his first weeks at every school and club he’s ever been part of. It only takes a second, really, to make someone love him at first sight… or touch, he should say. The most he’s gotten into trouble for it was when he first moved to Korea, but among that timeframe, there was one particular incident at his first school that always comes to haunt him when he least expects it.

Althought he can’t quite remember the details, he knows that there was a fight between his classmates about something dumb and fairly easy to solve without getting physical about it, but he still got involved and pushed around somehow. Huening Kai didn’t even try to fight back, he was trying to be reasonable and apologize when he lost balance after being shoved aside, and what he grabbed onto just happened to be the hand of his classmate. 

As if electrocuted, the other kid had jumped apart and the strangest thing happened. Kai fell to the ground and when he looked up, the boy’s eyes were no longer filled with anger. 

The fight ended just like that, and he didn’t give it much thought at first, remembering all past incidents in which he touched someone and things suddenly went his way. It actually took him some time to notice what was wrong, even if the boy would follow him around and listen to him talk all attentively, buy him snacks and share his school supplies (even the coolest ones like the metallic markers), he didn’t think much of it. It was really nice and not all that uncommon for Huening Kai, so it really was nice while it lasted.

Kai isn’t exactly sure what made the switch. That day, he vaguely remembers being upset because of his parents, and wanting someone to just _listen to him for once_ , so he went straight to the boy that he knew wouldn’t mind and asked him to come with him during recess so he could share what was going on in his life.

Instead, the second he touched his shoulder to ask for his attention, the other looked at him in a way that made his body freeze. Huening Kai has never been able to forget the look of pure hatred he sent his way. To this day, he avoids even thinking about the name of the boy, the memories making him feel like the most horrible and deplorable being in existence. 

_“You are actually the worst, aren’t you?”, “You only think of yourself, I can’t believe I couldn't see how bad of a friend you really are”, “You only come to me when you need something”, “Don’t think for a second I will fall for your tricks just like everyone else now that I know the truth”; “You’re a monster”._

It hurt. All of those words hurt a lot, but he thinks he learnt a lot from that experience alone. At first, he tried to make him see that he wasn’t actually his friend for selfish reasons, even if he did enjoy all the attention. But Kai could see it, the boy’s eyes no longer had that particular haze anymore, and that was when he realized that the other had no reason to like him all of sudden after that fight, that it was weirder that he hadn’t noticed how little they even had in common in the first place. Maybe he never genuinely liked him, it really was just Huening Kai’s touch that made him think he did. From that point onwards, Huening Kai started avoiding touching people until he got to meet them to an extent in which the other has already formed an opinion about him, and to avoid those who dislike him after that, which has rarely come as a difficult thing to do save from a few exceptions. Like Soobin. Not because the older disliked him, but because he didn’t even give him a chance to introduce himself properly before touching him. Soobin, he’s come to accept, it’s the exception to most of his rules.

He’s also come to accept his quirk to some extent, and he’s even become proud of how easily it comes to him to ease the mood around him with just a simple touch, but he’s really conscious about it and only ever does it after asking. It’s a wonder that he’s chosen this path in life, but it also makes sense to some extent, right? As much love and attention he receives, he’s also becoming an untouchable figure with each day that passes by (at least in the literal sense). 

* * *

  
  


He’s feeling especially… affectionate? today, but he keeps himself in check. He’s never thought that being clingy is something to be ashamed of, but he has been teased by his members for being like that so many times now, that he does feel a little self-conscious when he’s the one going for a hug that lasts a little too long or when he’s trying to cuddle them to sleep. Not that they ever actually were opposed to it (he makes sure of it!), they just act like they are. Having his members by his side made him realize just how much he missed touching people without worries after so many years of holding himself back. As much as he loves his plushies, the comfort they bring can’t even compare to what it feels to be held by someone you care about.

Somedays, a pat on the back is enough to keep him satisfied, today is most definitely not _someday_. He wants proper physical affection to keep himself grounded and energized for the never ending schedule in between filming, and practicing their choreographies, and vocal training. Huening Kai has fun while working, but sometimes it’s too much strain on his body and focusing on his every move non stop to the point of forgetting how to _not_ monitor everything he does, and it gets to him. At those times, he needs Soobin the most. He lets himself be selfish about this too, since the older is his little (but actually pretty big sized) piece of comfort and warmth away from home. Kai has actually called Soobin his home before. In his mind, _obviously_ , but he was also really close to admitting it out loud on his late night talks with Taehyun.

“Have you seen Soobinie-hyung?” He asks Yeonjun as soon as he sees him, and it comes to his attention that he sounded a tiny bit antsy, but his mind is focused on one thing only. 

“ _Hi, Yeonjun-hyung, how have you been?_ Well, hi Ning, I’m fine, thanks for asking” The older mocks him, playfully slapping his arm. It makes his jump but not even in pain or a bad way. _Huh_ , he must be a lot more touch starved than what he originally thought he was. 

“Sorry, Sorry!” He rushes to say, in what could be considered baby voice. “Hi, hyung, how was vocal training?” He remedies a little sheepishly, his cheeks a little warm.

“I know you don’t actually want the details, but it went great, actually.” Yeonjun grins, enjoying the fact that the maknae is actually becoming flustered for once, “I’m not sure about Soobinie, I think he was getting ready to go back home when I was on my way to the studio”.

“Ah… he already finished then” He murmurs to himself, knowing the older probably came looking for him but saw him occupied and decided to leave without him, “I’m glad it went well, hyung. Are you going over your lines for the new song?”

“You mean the ones I wrote? No, but they might still be chosen for the next album” He admits, he seems a little lost in thought all of sudden, but still fixedly looks at him. 

Huening Kai just hums in answer, hands fidgeting at being stared closely, but used to his hyung's way of zoning out when his mind gets into _work-zone._ Yeonjun gets silent, contemplative, at times. Just like he is right now, and it’s better to leave him alone with his thoughts in order to let the most creative parts of his brain work and figure things out. Yeonjun looks the opposite of how he feels right now, centred vs restless.

“I will leave too, then” he lets him know before the silence gets too long. Huening Kai continues his way to the back door, knowing there’s a van already waiting for him.

“Ah, Huening-ah! Wait!” Yeonjun calls him before he manages to get too far, shaking a notebook on his hand to catch his attention. The older pauses for a brief moment, as if debating if he should speak before saying, “I know you think that letting things stay as they are it’s for the best, but maybe in this case… be selfish and just go for it, yeah? If you wait for him to take the first step, you might as well just wait forever” His expression is unreadable as he says this.

He feels caught at the words, naked, but can’t figure out if Yeonjun is actually talking about what _he_ thinks he’s talking about. Before he can corroborate, the older has already continued his way down the hallway and turned left. Kai is, for the first time in a long while, frozen on the spot. _Did he mean…?_

So he goes home with a busy mind and his skin prickling with the need of being touched and simultaneously repelled of it as a consequence of his own anxiousness about his quirk acting up. His mind is not in balance with his body, and that’s exactly what makes his power uncontrollable and dangerous in his experience. At moments like this, the best thing to do is to isolate himself in his room and hold onto a plushie until the feeling dies out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a looong looooong time  
> what do you think of ning's power??  
> heh, I think I have revealed everyone's except for yeonjun's now  
> I'm still unsure about my writing since i have so many ideas  
> but most of them turn into mush once i start writing
> 
> regardless, I hope that if you're reading this,  
> that you enjoyed it somehow.
> 
> moaaaa let's work hard for this comeback and enjoy it a lot <3 <3 <3  
> and if you want, come talk to me on twt, i'm @/gyumpie !


	4. You can’t save me

> _I've been here before_
> 
> _Gonna walk you to the door_
> 
> _Sinking feeling in my heart_
> 
> _Touched my fingertips_
> 
> _Crushed me into little bits_
> 
> _But I've been broken from the start_

Of course, not everything in life goes the way you want to, no matter how biased the world might be in your favor. Huening Kai is a little nervous on his way back to the dorm, so he tries to keep himself distracted by drumming his fingers against the window, but it merely manages to have that effect and instead it just reinforces his self-introspective tendencies (and not the positive kind). Before he notices, he's already in front of the building they live in and going up the stairs (instead of the elevator to buy himself some extra time). He opens the door as quietly as possible and enters slowly, checking to see if there’s a chance of avoiding Soobin noticing he got home. At first, it appears that he managed to do just that quite successfully, but once he enters his room he doesn’t measure the force with which he closes the door and cringes at the loud noise it makes as it hits the wall. For a few seconds he doesn’t move, it appears like time has stopped, but then…

“Huening?” He recognizes that voice anywhere and under any circumstances, and his heart races in fear but his body is tingling with anticipation. He hates how honest his body is sometimes, how despite his dependability he is so easy to read if you look close enough. 

“Soobin-hyung!” He replies with as much enthusiasm as he can muster, quickly grabbing clean clothes to change into and rushing to the shower before the older can catch him slipping. 

“Hey, I thought you were going to leave early to… day” Soobin’s sentence gets interrupted by another door closing forcefully, except this time right in front of his face.

“Sorry hyung, I just really need a shower” Huening Kai lets the tiredness of the day bleed into his voice as he knows the other won’t ask questions if he deems him too burned-out to hold a conversation with. He thinks he hears Soobin snort.

“Ok then, don’t take too long” He replies impatiently, “Once you finish come see me, I want to show you something I found while cleaning up”.

“Ok” he replies weakly, unable to bring himself to outright reject him. He doesn’t know what’s more surprising, the fact that Soobin is asking him to meet him at his room today of all days or the fact that he was cleaning up earlier. Without doubt, the cleaning up part is the most surprising, but he doesn’t get to tease him about it when he himself is going through a crisis. 

Despite his agreement to be quick, he takes a long while just so he can enjoy the hot water on his sore back and relax a little. He’s already feeling better after getting into clean and comfortable clothes, _maybe it’s not that risky to see him now?_

Just in case he’s going to keep his distance, but it’s probably going to be ok. 

Huening Kai considers himself safe when he enters the room and sees that Soobin is sitting at his desk instead of the bed, meaning he doesn’t have to sit close by. 

“You took a while” Soobin taunts him, “but guess what what I found” he says a moment later, looking like a mischievous child hiding something behind his back when he turns to meet his eye.

“An old photo, maybe?” he replies half-heartedly, normally he would think of a better comeback or something to tease him with, but today has been hard on him. He’s already thinking of how to leave unscathed.

“Wrong!” He continues, his smile going down a little as he looks at him deliberately. “Are you ok, Hueningie? You know you can just tell me if you want to go straight to bed, right?” Soobin gets up from his chair and takes a step closer to him, revealing the envelope he was just hiding a second ago without care. 

He looks at him in alarm, realizing almost in slow motion how Soobin’s frame is getting closer and closer and he doesn’t have the energy to move over and avoid his touch. “I…” Kai whispers, “Maybe I’m more tired than I originally thought?”

The older looks down at him in concern, his legs just a few centimeters away from brushing against his own. Even at this angle, Soobin is ridiculously handsome and it makes Kai a little mad. It’s so tempting to just reach out with his arms and hold him. 

“Sleep then, I’m a little tired too” He hears him say softly to him, and then takes a step back, making him think that’s the end of it. But he thought wrong, considering the older moves to the side just to lift the corner of his bedsheets and pat the mattress. “I’ll show you tomorrow, it’s something dumb anyway”.

Now this is something he can’t get away from without making the other even more suspicious than he already probably has, but it is for the best. “Ah, actually, I think I’ll sleep on my bed tonight” He gets up quickly, trying to make it out of the room as fast as possible, but Soobin reacts faster, standing in front of him just to brush the fringe of his hair out of his eyes before he can stop him. “Hey!” He exclaims in surprise, jumping back, but relaxes when absolutely nothing happens. 

“What?” The other replies easily, eyebrows rising slightly as he holds his gaze.

“Nothing” The relief of not having to worry about his quirk acting up is so big, he just leans into Soobin and lets his weight fall on top. _This is what he needed._

“Humpf!” Soobin loses balance for a second at the added weight, but quickly steadies them both and holds Huening Kai tightly, “Sure you don’t want to stay here?” 

“Hm” Kai caves in easily, “Only if you don’t tease me about it tomorrow”. 

“Sure thing, Hueningie” He replies in a cute voice as if babying him, while he moves them awkwardly with his arms full and into the bed. “But that doesn’t mean you’re safe from me reading your letter out-loud”.

“My letter?” The confusion he feels is evident in his voice, especially now that he’s made himself comfortable and is feeling pretty much seconds away from falling asleep, the words don’t make sense to him.

“I found your reply to my letter from years back” Soobin tells him while drawing absentmindedly on his back, “You know, to the one that you lost”.

“I didn’t lose it, I just misplaced it because I was keeping it extra safe” Huening Kai smiles at the memory. He can’t bring himself to be embarrassed about whatever it was that he had written to his hyung in reply even if he can’t remember half of it; not now. Not when he is this tired, and content, and finally _home_. 

The last thing he remembers is the prickling sensation on his skin gradually disappearing and the warmth of Soobin’s body enveloping him.

* * *

In the early morning, he wakes up slowly to the signs of light filtering into the room. Huening Kai turns to his side, where Soobin is still sleeping soundly. He is overwhelmed with the desire of staying like this for a little longer, just admiring and feeling the peace that comes with being here. Lately, his longing has been reaching new highs and it worries him how as more time passes by, the feelings for his friend doesn’t seem to simmer down as he expected. It’s the contrary, actually.

“Kai?” Soobin’s voice brings him to reality, even when the older’s gaze is still unfocused with sleep and probably just as opposed to waking up as he is.

“Yes?”

“You need to move, I can’t get out of bed”

For some reason those words bring him a turmoil of emotions that _shouldn’t_ be there. He’s frustrated, having to cut short their time together. Frustrated at how blind his hyung can be to his feelings, even when he’s always his first choice of who to go to in the middle of the night, when he lets himself be so vulnerable with him. He has been wearing his heart on his sleeve just to be treated … almost condescendingly. It’s just a little flame but somehow there’s suddenly a fire inside him. Is it possible that Soobin is just avoiding the truth and not as dense as he seems to be? Even Yeonjun knew, apparently. Could he be playing with him? Rationally he knows it’s most likely in order to protect Kai, knowing Soobin as he does, he can see how the other might be trying to avoid hurting his feelings by acting oblivious but…

“Stay” He tells him in a flat tone, his hand unconsciously reaching out to his arm so Soobin doesn’t move away from him. And then, _it_ happens.

Soobin’s eyes turn cold, an icy glare that makes the fire in him die out immediately. _It can’t be, it can’t be._ All at once there are palms against his chest, pushing him away. Huening Kai starts breathing fast, absolutely terrified at the possibility of his worst nightmare coming true. The older moves away from him as if repelled. 

“You don’t get to tell me what to do” He practically sneers at him, “Stay there and don’t get in my way”.

Huening Kai is paralized, words just don’t come out of his mouth. _It could still be a joke, right? He could just be in a really bad mood?_

He stumbles out of bed to follow Soobin into the shared space of their dorm, “Hyung, I’m sorry, I wasn’t…”

He stops talking when he sees the other stopping short and turning with clenched fists. Soobin leans forwards into his personal space, making him feel smaller than he has ever felt before. “Shut up if you don’t mean it, I can’t stand liars”

Just at that moment, Taehyun comes out of Yeonjun’s room, and looks at them in surprise and then curiosity, “Hi guys, you’re up early, didn’t we have a schedule later on today?” 

Huening Kai starts seeing blurry from the corner of his eyes, barely understanding to what extent the gravity of the situation is. He really doesn’t have the strength to pretend he’s fine so he rushes out of the dorm before he starts tearing up for real, barefooted and dressed only in a thin shirt, he leaves an enraged and a worried member behind.

* * *

The following days he descends into hell. Huening Kai is living hell on earth, and he has no one to blame but himself. Or does he? Could he have done things differently? It was Soobin who touched him first all those years ago, he was the one who decided to break his most important rule without consent. But it’s not Soobin’s fault either, is it? He didn’t know him at all or about Huening Kai’s ability to be… a deceiver, a liar he called him. The subtle truth behind those words feels like pins and needles. Nothing in the world has changed, except that Soobin doesn’t care about him anymore. The apathy is so much worse than the anger.

“Hyung, do you think we can go over that part again?” Kai is constantly falling back into old habits, reaching out to Soobin just to have those icy eyes and pursed lips reminding him of how _not ok_ the older is with being around him. 

“Sure thing, Ning-ning” Yeonjun answers instead, noticing the tense atmosphere in the practice room and trying his best to disperse it, “I also noticed that we’re still lacking in syncing up”.

Soobin just ignores him and gets into position, not even once acknowledging him or even looking at him if not directly approached. 

And now. Now how does he carry on? Even leaving aside the wound of losing his first close friend, his first love, which is something he can’t take lightly no matter how hard he tries to suppress it... he is now responsible for the likely disbandment of Tomorrow by Together. Would they be able to work out their differences and stay as team partners? A relationship exclusively about work. He thinks it’s possible, but the last days have proven him just how much success has to do with teamwork. They are all off. If Soobin and Huening Kai are not matching up, everything around them follows suit like a chain reaction. 

“Guys, you have to look at each other, remember that part of the performance is about the chemistry between you” Their instructor reminds them not so kindly while looking pointedly at Soobin and Huening Kai. 

His shoulders drop in embarrassment at being called out and doing his job poorly, but he doesn’t let himself show his anguish. Kai doesn’t let anyone see him beating himself up at night, much less cry. He knows the moment he lets himself cry, he’s just not going to be able to stop.

* * *

“Huening-ah, I think I found something of yours,” Beomgyu’s head appears from the door of the room, holding a wrinkled paper on his hand. The older had been spending more and more time in their room since Taehyun and he started dating, but lately he hasn’t seen him as much, or at least, he hasn’t seen him interacting with Taehyun out of work. He would worry about it, but he’s already got his plate full. And that makes him feel even guiltier.

Honestly, Beomgyu has been his rock these days, he’s been taking care of him so well that he’s managed to postpone breaking down until now thanks to his little gestures. Even when Kai doesn’t tell him anything, he keeps coming to see him and leaving egg tarts in the kitchen for him, showing him silly videos, making faces and hugging him when he looks like he needs it. Which is, all the time now.

“What is it?” He asks, disinterested but willing to make an effort for his hyung.

“I don’t know, really. I just recognized your handwriting, it may be trash actually” The other replies and extends the piece of paper to him. It definitely seems like it has seen better days, judging but the way it’s been cut, but he doesn’t pay much attention and tries to read what he can:

_Soobin-hyungie ! ! >3< _

_I know you must love me lots to write me such a heartfelt letter out of nowhere,_

_so i’m writing you back so you know it too_

_You’re the friend i always wanted to have growing up, I no longer feel lonely thanks to you_

_Really, thank you for looking after me and following me unconditionally ♡♡♡_

_When you’re around I feel at ease too, please let me know when you’re feeling low so I can be there for you like you were for me then_ _^_____^_

It feels like a dagger, his own words thrown back at him, what he wouldn’t do to have a pity party on his own right now. He stares at his handwriting for a few seconds longer, before it hits him all at once; his heart breaking. The first tears start falling without his permission, and he starts breathing shallowly when he tries to calm down, but there’s no point. He is shaking so badly and he can’t control it. Beomgyu immediately goes to him when he notices but he can’t focus on anything other than the raw pain, can’t hear him or be comforted by him. 

He’s terrified. He is so terrified of himself and for himself, of what he’s capable of and what it means. Building a lie so pretty that even he can’t see through it. Soobin… Soobin was never his friend, was he? He manipulated him into being around him everytime he touched him for years and he let himself believe that they were soulmates. It is a lie. It was all a lie. He never liked Kai and the proof is right in front of him. The letter has been teared apart, just like he feels right now. He sobs quietly, in a way he’s never done before. It’s so weird, like an out of body experience, he knows that physically he’s ok, but his throat is tight and he can’t let out any sound at all.

“Kai? Kai!” He hears Taehyun’s voice, he doesn’t know when he got here in the first place, he just knows he’s still talking but he can't make sense of the words. He just cries harder, this time loudly.

“Shhh… it’s ok, it’s ok” Beomgyu whispers into his ear as he holds him tightly, “Let it out, hyung is here, you can cry, just breathe”.

_If only you knew, if only you knew what I did._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have come to realize that i write a lot of scenes about sharing a bed  
> i think im projecting?? i really like the intimacy of it even when its not romantic  
> whoops
> 
> there's a couple of chapters left and the next one is almost finished but  
> i'm not fully convinced so it might take another week or so
> 
> stream blue hour ! ! <3


	5. Lotus

> _ Hope is just a fantasy I'll never get from you  _
> 
> _ (you, you) _
> 
> _ You are the petals of the life you _
> 
> _ That slowly growing on me  _
> 
> _ (me on you, you on me, us) _

  
  


That night he sleeps in the middle of Beomgyu and Taehyun, both of them comforting him with sweet nothings and soft caresses until he manages to tire himself out after so much crying. It reminds him that life isn’t over, despite how much it feels like it, so he tries to move on with their help during the following days. He tells them everything, and weirdly enough, they don’t look at him like they hate him. Taehyun already knew about his quirk anyways, and he doesn’t know what exactly he was expecting of someone as caring and understanding as Beomgyu, but he still managed to surprise him:  _ I have a quirk of my own, actually. I visit you in dreams sometimes _ , and then proceeds to reassure him that Soobin doesn’t hate him at all, that it must be something else. He doesn’t believe him, but he appreciates the effort anyway.

“Ok, this is what we’re going to do”, Taehyun tells him on their way home after a long day of practicing and making preparations for their following album. It’s just the two of them since he waited up for Taehyun to finish his work out routine. The truth is he doesn’t want to be away from either Beomgyu or Taehyun at any given moment until he feels somehow stable again. “We’re having a day off next Monday. Yeonjun-hyung already talked with management, so that’s cleared. The two of us are going to find a way to reverse your curse”.

“Hyunie, I don’t even know if it’s actually a curse or if it can be broken. It’s just my… thing” He explains a little tiredly, he’s been focusing all of his energy on working so he doesn’t have time to think about this, but his friend still brings it up. He knows it’s not with malice, but... “If I touch people, I force them to like me”.

“No, you don’t. You really don’t” Taehyun states firmly, so much conviction in his voice that even Huening Kai has a hard time not believing him. “Otherwise…”

He trails off in a way that makes him think Taehyun is not going to finish his sentence, but then, “hey, remember Dongsun?”

“Uhm, yeah? We were trainees at the same time, right?” The question catches him off guard. They never really talk about the guys they trained with unless they are still in contact or close friends with one of them. Dongsun doesn’t fit either criteria.

“Yeah. Well, he hated your ass” Taehyun talks in a way that even if he ought to be offended, he can’t. The way he says it just makes it sound funny somehow, “He was an obnoxiously insecure guy, he actually talked behind Soobin-hyung’s back too.”

“Ok? I don’t know why you’re telling me this… did he really dislike me and... hyung, that much?”

Taehyun just hums in agreement. “But guess what”, he says with a subtle smile, “you touched him many times during preparations for evaluations and he didn’t suddenly start liking you, did he?”

_ Oh. _

“You’re right... But then why…? That doesn’t make any sense at all! Soobin-hyung was just fine the day before the… incident, and then I touched him and he… he...”

“I know, I know. Just take it easy” Taehyun reaches for his hand and holds it tightly, “We’ll figure it out. But if you ask me, it really does sound like a curse.”

Huening Kai thinks that’s all he’s going to say, so he closes his eyes and lets the rocking motion of the car lull him. 

“You’ll still be charming regardless of whether we get rid of the quirk or not” Taehyun whispers, and it makes him feel like maybe things are going to be ok, just as long as he has his bestfriend by his side.

* * *

Monday comes faster than he expected, and he tries to keep his expectations low, but there’s still excitement building in him. Maybe it’s just the way days-off usually are, especially after spending a little over a week working himself to the bone while pretending he is on good terms with Soobin; but today feels slightly different. 

Taehyun makes them leave at 7 o’clock sharp, which he isn’t that ecstatic about, but it still kind of feels like they are going on a secret mission. It kind of is. 

“Hyunie, I’ve been meaning to ask, is everything ok between you and Beomgyu-hyung?” Kai honestly wanted to keep the conversation lighthearted but, it’s just bugging him. Something’s been off and he can’t keep pretending he doesn’t notice when the both of them have been so helpful and acutely aware of Huening’s problems.

“Yeah, why do you ask?” His friend looks confused, so he thinks he might have been overanalyzing things. They are walking by a suspiciously empty street, it reminds him of their time in Japan, but more alarming given that they don’t have camera-men or any of their staff with them. Technically speaking, they shouldn’t be here.

“You are still… you know, dating?” He cringes after saying it, but he can’t go back on his words. He tried to word it differently but he’s uneasy about where they are so his attention is almost entirely on walking and looking at their surroundings rather than talking. He’s never been to this part of the city before, and it looks entirely different from what he’s used to by now.  _ How did Taehyun manage to find this place, again? _

“What? Yes!” Taehyun replies too fast to be natural, “Of course we are, what makes you think we’re not?” If he didn’t know his best friend better, he would have believed him regardless of the rushed way he answered, but it’s not like him to get  _ this _ defensive over anything.

… 

“Actually, we did go through a rough patch recently, but... well, things are doing pretty good right now” Taehyun admits a moment later, his shoulder dropping as if a weight’s been lifted off them. It’s surprising, really. They seemed to be doing so good for the month or so they’ve been together, it makes him wonder. 

“Ah, I’m glad” he replies sincerely, “Actually, there’s something else I’m curious about. You’ve been spending a lot of time with Yeonjun-hyung lately too, maybe even more so than with Beomgyu-hyung?” He asks cautiously, no judgment in his voice. He knows Taehyun will understand he’s not digging to be mean or out of distrust, but because he cares about him deeply. Maybe Yeonjun is going through a hard time, too. That would certainly make this the hardest period of time they have faced as a team and on a personal level.

“Oh. Uhm. That’s not…” Taehyun pushes his tongue against his cheek, he looks uncertain. “Ok, I can’t really explain it to you right now, Ning. I’m sorry.” 

“Why is that?” He tilts his head, trying to figure out what could possibly be making him keep this a secret, but it reassures him how easily he answers him regardless. It means he probably has nothing to worry about. Or that Yeonjun is not ready to share this with him just yet.

“We’re… trying something, of sorts. Everything is still new and a little… uncertain, at the moment. But once we figure it out, I’ll tell you everything, I promise.”

“You better. It's not fair if I'm the only one pouring his heart out in this friendship” He teases him, brushing their shoulders together.

“You’re being so dramatic and for what” The other snorts, “let's focus on solving your problem before jumping into my business”

“Yeah, I guess you're right” He agrees easily.

* * *

It takes them an embarrassingly long time to find the place Taehyun searched up online, and it doesn’t look very promising once they enter the building. Actually, it’s a rented room with very poor lighting and dusty even to his eyes (and he’s not the biggest fan of cleaning up, but you didn’t hear that from him  _ shhh _ ). He trusts Taehyun’s judgment though, so he doesn’t comment on it and sits on the pillow laying on the floor and explains his dilemma to the lady that let them in. What she says makes him feel a little pessimistic about being able to fix things today:

“You kids know I’m just a tarot reader, right?” She’s looking at them like she thinks they are insane. Which is, kind of fair. “If it’s a prank, then… ha ha, very funny. But I basically just do affordable therapy sessions for idiots who already know what they need to do but are too dense to see it, you know?” She continues when neither replies nor shows signs of backing off, “If you want a  _ real witch _ or whatever it is that you’re looking for… you're not going to find it here”.

They leave shortly after, and he swears he listens to her mutter “Weirdos” under her breath as she closes the door. 

“Well, that went well”, Huening Kai says when the silence gets too long.

“You don’t say” Sarcasm has always been Taehyun’s strongest suit between the two of them.

“How do we find an actual witch? Do you think we have time to go somewhere else? I don’t think Yeonjun-hyung can cover for us going to get ice cream for that much longer, we’ve been out for hours” He contemplates as they walk back to where they came from. Taehyun stops at that and turns to face him, holding him by the arms.

“Kai, we’re not leaving without breaking your curse. This can’t go on, you’ve been miserable and it’s honestly affecting all of us” His tone is fiery, but he can detect the worry underneath the anger, “I can’t believe there’s someone evil enough to wish  _ you _ any type of harm, but once I find them I will-”

“Hey, is that girl staring at us?” Huening Kai wasn’t trying to ignore his friend, but it’s kind of distracting when you feel someone’s eyes on you. He’s become especially conscious of both people and cameras looking his way since debut, like a sixth sense of sorts. 

“What? You think she recognizes us or something?” Taehyun suddenly lowers his voice, discreetly looking at the spot Kai was looking seconds ago, “Shit, you’re right… let’s start speeding up after the next street”. 

The girl in question is barely a few meters away from them, and she had stopped just as they did, so he follows Taehyun’s lead with obvious concerns. Neither look back and start walking at a faster pace than before.

“Hey, wait up!” Kai hears someone say behind him, and it makes him anxious how the voice sounds a little out of breath, as if they had run to catch up with them, “I just… I just want to help…!” 

Taehyun suddenly turns at that, making Kai stop too, “Uh-huh, why did you run so suspiciously towards us then?”

“Are you a moa?” Huening Kai asks instead, worried that they might have come off as rude to a fan who wasn’t trying to scare them.

“A what now?” The girl looks so genuinely confused it immediately brings him relief. It’s not that seeing a fan would have been bad, but sometimes it’s hard to differentiate between an actual supporter and a hater. And really, they are  _ not  _ supposed to be here, if anyone finds out they are doomed. “Hey, you started running first! I was just trying to catch up” The girl frowns at Taehyun, completely unaware of the situation they thought they were in.

“So… what was it that you wanted to help us with?” Kai tries to appease both the girl and his friend, gesturing with his palms and smiling at them so they calm down. She turns to him with bright eyes.

“I know a witch! I mean, sort of. It’s more like I’ve heard of her” She says while nodding her head as if agreeing with herself, “I couldn’t help but overheard that you were talking about a curse. Sorry about that” she admits sheepishly. 

“Oh! That would actually be really helpful” He replies to her, feeling hopeful at her words.

“Huening, so help me, that sounds just as shady as the place we’ve just been to. If anyone at the company finds out where we went today we’d be in so much trouble already” Taehyun decides to be the voice of reason.

“But Hyunie, … it might be our only chance to fix this. We can't go back and have a comeback with Soobin-hyung... ignoring me the way he does” He wasn’t as sure before, but now that  _ this  _ happened he is starting to feel more confident about finding a solution. After all, what are the chances of someone coming up to them to give them the contact of a witch?

“Hey, still here” She clears her throat.

“Oh, sorry” Kai says, a little embarrassed at the call out.

“Yeah, it’s no biggie. Just, take this.” She hands him a coupon for fried chicken with a little scribble on the side from inside her wallet. “It’s the address, I kept it with me for some reason. I know it sounds a little bit shady, but trust me, my friend went through some serious shit last year. We’re pretty sure she caught the evil eye or something like that, and this woman broke that curse in just one visit. After that, everything in her life fell back into place. It was like magic, she’s a little weird but I'm sure she’s legit.” 

“Thank you” He smiles at her, taking the greasy coupon like it’s his salvation. It might be.

“Yes, thank you. And sorry for running away from you” Taehyun bows slightly, “You were pretty suspicious though” he adds as an afterthought.

“You're kind of funny” The girl says but doesn’t look amused at all, “But, yeah, ok, I go the other way, so... best of luck!” Is the last thing she says before walking away rushedly. Kai feels kind of bad for having made her run, maybe she’s also late.

“Thank you, you too!” Kai screams after her.

“You’re way too friendly with strangers” Taehyun whispers from his side.

“And you’re way too cautious” He teases, even though he was just as worried minutes ago. 

He looks up the address on his cellphone quickly and starts walking right away, they are going against time after all. 

“We live in a world with literal dream weavers, time travelers, possibly witches, and who knows what else. You can never be too cautious” Taehyun makes a fair observation.

“I guess… Do you really believe so?”

“Believe what?”

“That it’s a witch’s curse, and not, you know, just my … quirk”

“Hueningkai, you’re the world’s favorite child. The universe would have never gifted you with a power meant to harm those around you and yourself. It’s definitely a curse”

“Hmm, maybe”

“Come on, let’s find this shady witch and head back home. I’m tired”

* * *

The house of the address definitely looks better than the place that they visited earlier, but it’s still pretty fishy if you ask him. The street looks out of a horror movie with the general uncared for appearance and almost desolation around, it’s too quiet. Kai is grateful the sun is still up. If they haven’t visited that tarot reader before, he would be a lot more apprehensive about going inside. But, considering they’ve already missed lunch and the growing amount of missed calls on his phone, they ought to move fast if they want to find answers today. He hypes himself up before knocking on the door, but it opens at the slightest of touch.

“Excuse me?” Taehyun peaks inside with his head. There’s no answer, so he pushes the door open and walks inside. He follows him with trepidation, the hallway is too dark and it’s like the walls have eyes with the way he feels like he’s being watched from all directions. 

“Young boys, in places they shouldn’t be” A voice says suddenly, making them jump and turn to look in the general direction of the sound. There’s a room he didn’t notice to his right, inside there’s an old woman resting on a couch with a book on her hands.“This is… interesting. What brings you here?”

They look at each other, wondering what to do. Kai has never been good when put on the spot or having to be the one leading conversations, so he hopes Taehyun will take over. As if reading him, he speaks first:

“Good evening, I’m Taehyun and this is my friend Huening Kai. We’re looking for a witch. I think.” Taehyun starts with uncertainty, “Honestly, we have kind of a weird problem and someone told us this could be the place to get the answers we’re looking for.”

“A weird problem, you say? That's just my specialty” She smiles kindly at them, signaling with her hand to the chairs in the room, “Come over and take a seat, why don’t you?”

“Oh, thank you” Kai finally speaks, bowing as he enters the room and takes a seat. He plays with his hands nervously.

“Thank you” Taehyun whispers as he sits too.

“So, you two” She closes the book in her hands with a loud thud, “I sense magic in both of you. One more so than the other, one seems pretty… new. Could your problem be somehow related to that?”

“No! Yes!” Taehyun replies quickly, “I mean… yes, yes it is? We’re not here for me, though. Could I ask how you know…?”

“Haven’t been getting around just with my looks, you know?” She interrupts him, the woman is looking at them closely now and Kai doesn’t know what exactly it is that she’s looking for, but it raises goosebumps on his arms. “I’m already past my fifties, I’m the real deal. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to afford to live by, I don’t go around scamming people if that’s what you thought”

“Ah, yeah. Sorry, I…” Taehyun apologizes profusely, hanging his head, but she’s not looking his way. It’s like she’s staring straight into Kai’s soul through his eyes, and it seems like… she doesn’t like what she finds there.

“Actually” Her voice hardens, “Come back another time, I’m busy right now”. The frown on her face makes him feel dejected. The things that have been going through his mind these past days come back tenfold, maybe he really is a bad person. He doesn’t know  _ how _ he knows, but it’s obvious to him that  _ she knows  _ about his quirk.

“But!” Taehyun almost gives himself whiplash, eyes round at the sudden change of heart of the woman.

“No, no. I seriously can’t help, you know.” She acts with sudden disinterest, opening her book once again at the page she had marked, “Your friend is cursed, that’s for sure, but he’s also a dangerous person with too much power on his hands. If something happened, he probably deserves what’s coming his way”

“Yeah, ok. No. Just no” He’s never seen Taehyun getting so worked up so fast, “You don’t know shit about Huening Kai and what he’s been through, he’s the most selfless person you could ever meet. He doesn’t deserve to be punished for whatever it is that you witches think he did. He’s already been punished once for it as a kid, and it doesn’t make any sense that he can’t touch the people he loves. That’s just too cruel. I don’t know from what kind of high horse of morality you’re looking us down from, but if you are just going to be-”

She interrupts his rant as the book falls into her lap, “Wait, wait, wait a minute. Did you say once?”

“I- What even, that’s the only thing you got from that?” He’s mad, mad enough to drop formalities and even curse. It’s really out of character but his heart feels warm at the show of protectiveness. He’s so grateful for Taehyun, and it’s definitely not the right time to tell him, but he will tell him how much he appreciates him later on.

“This guy…” She points at him with a move of his head, “He has that kind of power and that curse for that long and only once…? Oh. That’s… you poor angel”

The way she looks at him is so apologetic and full of regret that even Kai feels the need to apologize, “I don't think I understand what's going on” he says quietly, his head hanging low.

“Me neither” Taehyun says with pursed lips.

“Ok, this was my mistake. I apologize for jumping to conclusions. I guess I'll hear what your problem is, young boy. Start from the beginning so I can understand better”

“I’m not sure what the beginning is?” Kai admits, still afraid of messing up and making the witch angry again.

“Tell me about the first time someone turned on you” She crosses her legs and leans back into the couch, scrutinizing him and making Kai feel like he’s in a therapy session.

“Oh, uhm, well… when I was a kid there was this fight between my classmates and I got involved...” He starts, hesitant as to what to say and what not to, “And when I touched him he stopped fighting and everything was fine, I think. I mean, he suddenly started following me around, being really nice and friendly, but I thought it was normal until one day it just stopped… he was really angry and started being kind of… aggressive? and then he started acting like I didn’t exist”

“I see, did you touch him? before he suddenly started acting aggressive, I mean?” She raises an eyebrow, looking attentively. 

“I… yes, I did, that’s why I think now it’s the same… I influenced him into liking me right?” He doesn’t want to confirm this, but he needs to.

“Not necessarily, but… Do you remember your intention at that time? what was the context of the moment when he started avoiding you and treating you like that” It catches him by surprise,  _ what does she mean not necessarily? _

“My intention? I … no, I don’t? I mean, I was going to ask him to listen to me because I had some… ah, problems I wanted to talk about with someone” He chews his inner cheek, trying to answer without getting lost in thought. There are just too many questions on his mind right now.

“Ok, so, what happened then, this second time around?” She finally uncrosses her legs and moves a little closer. 

“Ah, well, Soob- I mean, this person. I don’t know if it’s important, but sometimes I get touch starved under stress” Kai feels Taehyun’s eyes on him the moment he says this, probably wondering why he didn’t tell him this fact about himself before, “And the day before I was feeling like that. I mean, I do spend a lot of time avoiding contact with people, just in case, after what happened the first time, so… yeah, I can get a little needy” He admits with flushed cheeks, embarrassed. “I don't know if that affects at all, actually. I just have noticed that my quirk gets stronger when I'm feeling like this, so I tried not to touch him when I got home. Everything was fine… but in the morning, I just wanted to stay with him a little longer so I grabbed him, I guess, but then he… then he…”

“You don’t have to continue, it’s fine, sweetheart” The tone of her voice makes him feel better, but he’s still wary of the woman. 

“Thank you, it’s just... It was… I…” He trails off, having a difficult time breathing normally at the memory.

“Hey, hey, it’s ok. Breath in… out… in… out…” Taehyun is by his side in a second, looking at him with so much concern in his eyes it almost makes him tear up.

“It seems like I have misjudged badly, I’m really sorry Huening Kai-ssi” The old woman gets up from the couch and moves around the room looking for something, “Here, have some tea, it's good for the heart” She walks closer to him and offers him a cup. “You too, overprotective friend who’s been killing me with his eyes”.

He accepts gratefully, but Taehyun takes the drink away from him skeptically and smells it before setting it down on a small side table. The woman just raises his eyebrows at the show of distrust, but smiles, pleased for some reason.

“If I got this right, you think he hates you, hm? and that you somehow forced him to like you?” She indagates as she moves back to her seat.

“Well, I have? I have been tricking him into liking me all this time, haven’t I?” 

“No, that's not how your power or the curse works at all, young man” 

“It's not?”

“Hm. Your power is charming people by touch, influencing them, that you got right.” The witch explains, “But the second part, well… You have a restriction curse. If anything, it should be a precaution, but it's too powerful and fickle to be fair. It really shouldn’t be  _ this _ restrictive and it has been going on for too long. What it was most likely intended to do was to stop you from abusing your power, meaning to protect other people if you use it for your own personal gain, by simply stirring them away from you.”

After hearing her, many things start connecting in his head. A part of him wishes to believe her, but another part is still doubtful.

“But how does that work? Huening Kai touches us all the time” Taehyun intervenes for the first time in a while, “Wouldn't something like this happened sooner?” 

“Apparently no, as you so eloquently said, he's the most selfless person I've met. The curse becomes active if he touches with a selfish intention to influence others. In this case, his need to be touched came from an egotistical desire more than out of love” She meditates out loud, and the both of them hang on to every word, “And if this is indeed the second time that this has ever happened to him, it means that he always touches you with selfless motives. That’s a really rare thing, if you ask me”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the angst from the previous chapter,,,   
> but i hope you look forward to lots of fluff for the final chapter he he  
> I had this chapter almost ready for a while but I still come back and find little things to add  
> If you are here I hope you enjoyed reading <3 
> 
> everyone take care of yourselves, these days have been hard for me,  
> i hope yours are better and if not, that we can get through this


End file.
